Well I’ve finished this story after numerous starts and stops and decisions to send or not send. Sorry to say you’ll find no great revelations or inside scoop, but it finally penetrated this thick head of mine that each of our stories contributes to the overall picture and so here’s mine…

I was raised in a military family on the move. New places, new people, new cultures and religions creating lots of questions. Read and read about everything I could find to do with the religion, spirit, studied astrology, tarot, magic, etc. , all creating more and more questions.

In 1974, when a friend and I spotted a flyer at the Bodhi Tree bookstore for Sunday services at a place called Morningland we figured it would be fun to see what was going on. Had no interest in joining any kind of group but it seemed like a grand adventure and off we headed for Long Beach.

A little store front temple filled with smiling happy people and a unique aura of purpose and I was hooked. I felt comfortable and at home (not a common experience for me). Everyone was kind and gentle and wonderful – oh, heck, you all know what that first experience is like. I was intrigued with the blend of philosophies and my reading from Karisibane. It was exciting and these people seemed to have lots of answers.

A couple more Sunday services, some classes and in a couple of months I moved from LA to Long Beach and was accepted as a disciple. The next two years were incredible, lots of learning, lots of wonderful people and lots to do. Like everyone else, I had a variety of “jobs” in those days and was thrilled with all them.

Me and my rose colored glasses were very happy and truly felt a part of something special, something that would make a difference and more importantly part of a family.

A couple of years go by, Donato passed on, the clearing sessions began and the structure of ML began changing. Some things that were happening certainly didn’t seem right or necessary but by then I had invested so much of myself in the group that of course I figured it was my lack of evolvement that wasn’t allowing me to understand what was going on. Sometime in the late summer (?) of 1978 it seemed I was losing my perspective on what was happening and where I was going – if anywhere. For most of that year in addition to my full time job, meetings at the temple during lunch break and the regular schedule of activities in Long Beach I was going to Escondido a couple of times a week plus occasional weekends. That was when I learned that Vivarin is a major food group.. Can’t remember if it was before or after the gopis “left” that I knew I had to put some distance between myself and ML – survival was becoming an issue that needed consideration and in September I found a job stage managing for a theatre that was going take a lot of time and involved night work.

One day just before I started that job I got a call not to come into the temple. No explanation, nada, just don’t show up. As I recall my first reaction was – Oh, god, what now? Got the sense of a new battle about to begin and knew there was no way I was going to make it through that again. Sat in a daze for a while and then Tron came over for a while (about 6 of us lived in this court of apartments) and there we sat wondering what was going on. A while later someone (I think it was Keira or Diana) came over and we all went to a gathering at someone’s house (not sure who all was there, but I know Laison/Keira, Moiray/Diana, Jim/Theran, Karen/Ravanna, Tron were present). Dorie and Jim arrived shortly and explained to us what had been happening as well as a lot of behind the scenes situations , manipulations, etc. Melickia and Mohanta showed up and, of course, more discussions of what was going on and what needed to be done. There was a lot of talk about everybody going to Arizona and I was considering it seriously. For some reason, still don’t have a clue why, Melickia must have decided she wasn’t interested in having me along and was making that point pretty clear to me. Well at this point, the last thing I needed or wanted was this woman hassling me nor did I need to move from a Sri ruled ML to a Melickia ruled ML so I decided to skip the Arizona trip and make my way back to Florida, at that time only planning to spend enough time here to regain some kind of balance and perspective.

I have no idea how long it was before I hit the road. Gave away or threw away almost everything I had (which wasn’t that much to begin with and what I kept was lost when my car was broken into in Biloxi – talk about a clean start). Helped a lot of other people pack. Found homes for my cats and a few items that I would want when I came back from Florida :)

My one clear memory is of Diana and I going to a Sunday service. How odd it was to sit there with all this new knowledge. One of the few times I had actually sat in a service in years. During a lull in the service we stood up and Diana spoke. I only have a sense of the words and the compassion of her delivery. I was so proud of her. When she finished I was speechless and heartbroken at the thought of leaving. Said something about how much I loved them all but that with what I had found out in the past few days I could no longer stay and that I hoped they would check things out and realize that all was not as it should be. Kicked myself for years that I didn’t say more, but Diana had covered as much as could be said given the situation. Then we left.

Must have been shortly after that I left Long Beach and if I ever believed in guardian spirits it was while making that trip across country in a falling apart car and a numb mind. But I made it and reunited with my family and here I am getting reacquainted and/or first time acquainted with all of you, a most welcome and new branch of family.

For those of you that got this far – thanks for letting me share. It’s taken a while, but has given me some new perspectives.

Hugs

Melody (once called Lepon from ’74 to ’78)

Filed under: By Exers