Well…since you asked..Donato had quite a time even convincing me to do music again…I had been singing and playing and touring with one group or another since I was fifteen…I had talent and I suffered for it…It was my voice and skill as the front person (and I was decent looking then) that passed auditions and kept myself and the other musicians working, but I was only a woman so I was essentially considered nothing…window dressing…

….I had sensitive ears and had quite a few times tried to offer some original songs or make changes in the arrangements or criticize the vocals…This lead to some pretty abusive actions from the other, mostly male members of the band…I finally quit music and swore I would never play again because the abuse just wasen’t worth it.

When I explained my feeling to Donato I was told not to worry about it because he (Donato) would take care of it…next thing I knew I had Leon…What a streak of brilliance…I mean, think about it…I not only had someone who no one could heap abuse and criticism on…He was also male..

As a result, I was always protected and I was protected by a spiritual teacher who didn’t really exist…I remember going in and telling Donato that even though it was a good idea maybe it was kind of farfetched…That was one of the many times he told me to keep my mouth shut and I would be okay….

I loved that guy…He never hurt me and he didn’t let anyone else hurt me either and neither of us ever had to lift a finger…Sorry to all those who think this was so awful..but, quite frankly, if it hadn’t been done I never would have played…The jury is still out on whether that was a good or bad thing…I never thought I was that great but at least I was able to express myself and perform my art without abuse…at least for awhile…that eventually ended but it was great for awhile…and that’s the name of that tune..

It is not easy being a woman in this day and age and, yes, I definitely do have issues with some men but because I felt safe in Morningland I was able to acually have friendships and grow to truly love the men that I worked with…That was what made the final betrayel so devastating to me.

The abuse I have suffered at the hands of the male gender of our species is a story in itself and not one I really want to go into at this time…but you have no idea….and for those of you who have said I had issues with men…absolutely, but not all men…not anymore…There are men in my life, because of M-land and since M-land that I truly love and would lay down my life for albeit I wouldn’t lay down for…(humor there)…

So that is the story of the Why’s and the circumstances of Leon’s birth…He dosen’t exist…and the proof of that is I was writing long before M-land and some of the music already existed in fragments before I ever knew M-land existed….as was the case with most of the talented people there…I can almost guarantee it…

We all need to take back what is ours….It dosen’t belong to the cult of Mourningland…it belongs to each of us….much love my friends…thanks for listening and as for the rest…bite me…Cheryl.

Filed under: By Exers